Articles Posted in Divorce

Conflict-vs-divorce-300x200Parents have an instinct to protect their children, especially when it comes to matters within their control. That’s why many couples who stay in marriages that are no longer working say they are doing so for the sake of the children. They fear divorce would cause them irreparable harm, but that isn’t necessarily the case. In fact, research shows that often it is the conflict between parents, not the divorce, that does the most harm.

When it comes to divorce, how parents handle themselves and the process can determine what effect the event will have on everyone. A recent Huffington Post survey of children of divorce asked what those children wished their parents had done differently. Their responses may offer some guidance. To learn more, read “17 Things Children of Divorce Wish Their Parents Had Done Differently.”

Rushing into divorce without proper preparation can lead to costly mistakes and regrets.Divorce is not a decision to be taken lightly. Although there may come a point where some couples just want to wash their hands of their failing marriage and move forward, rushing into the process can add more problems than it resolves.

Entering into the divorce process without making the necessary preparations can lead to mistakes which can prove costly, both financially and emotionally. For a look at some of the common mistakes a lack of preparation can lead to – and their ramifications – read “4 Early Divorce Mistakes and Why You Should Avoid Them.”

Paperwork needed for preparation of your divorce case represented by color coded file folders.Divorce can be overwhelming whether the decision is a mutual one or not. There are so many details to address and life-changing decisions to be made when you are least emotionally able to do so; being prepared and organized can help relieve some of the stress.

Gathering the necessary documents, financial statements, and other paperwork pertinent to your divorce is your first step in helping to prepare your case. Your divorce attorney can then help you navigate the process and arrive at decisions that are in the best interests of your future. For a list of the type of documents you may need, read “Divorce Checklist: Financial Paperwork You Need for Divorce.”

A hand holding a pen to make list of pros and cons while drinking coffee; the positive and negative effects of divorceNo couple starts their married life with the goal of getting divorced, but sometimes that is the only solution. For most people going through it, divorce is stressful, and it conjures up a lot of negative emotions – fear, failure, anxiety. Dwelling on these negatives can make the entire process more difficult.

Although divorce presents a number of obstacles to overcome, it can also present some positives – relief, independence and, in some situations, even safety. Focusing on the positives can make the process easier to endure not only for the couple but for their children as well. For a closer look at both the positive and negative effects of divorce read, “An Honest Look at the Pros and Cons of Divorce.”

Increase in Baby Boomer divorce rate is fueled by many factors including changing personal interests.It may be no surprise when a couple who marries on a whim after a short romance decides to divorce, but when a couple who has been married for decades makes the same decision, it’s a different story. Yet, “gray” divorces continue to be on the rise.

What could cause a couple who has been married 20, 30, even 40 years, raised a family and survived numerous ups and downs that life threw at them, to suddenly call an end to their relationship? Turns out there are many reasons–from evolving personal interests to increasing financial independence. To learn more about the factors fueling the Baby Boomer divorce trend read “20 Bitter Truths Behind the Escalating Divorce Wave in the Boomer Generation.”

Hand slicing through puzzle pieces representing marital assets distribution in a divorceDivorce is a highly emotional process, and it is safe to say couples sometimes let these emotions guide their decision making. There are certain aspects of divorce, however, that are better handled with a clear head, namely decisions affecting your children and your future finances.

One of the most contentious steps in a divorce is deciding on the distribution of assets. When you are making demands based on anger and hurt, it is nearly impossible to reach a fair and equitable agreement. But for your own long-term well-being, and possibly that of your children, now is the time to consider the implications that taking or giving up certain assets may have on your financial future. For an understanding of the different types of assets you may have, as well as their costs and associated taxes, read “What you need to know about splitting assets in a divorce.”

Woman hiding head in navy sweatshirt symbolizing fears associated with divorceLike all endings, divorce is a highly emotional process, and one of the strongest emotions it elicits is fear – fear over how people, particularly your children, will react … fear over money and financial stability … fear over what the future holds. But fear, when not confronted, can lead to inaction and, when it comes to unhealthy relationships, inaction may not be the best solution for anyone involved.

Looking at these fears head-on and considering the options for handling them can ease some of the stress and struggles couples experience during the divorce process. For a look at some of the more common fears associated with divorce and some mechanisms for coping with them, read “4 Common Divorce Fears (and How to Cope).”

How to tell kids of all ages about divorce; photo of legs of three kids, different agesOnce the decision to divorce is made, the next important step for a couple is to break the news to their children. But how do you tell them that the family structure as they know it will no longer look the same, while reassuring them that they will continue to be loved and cared for by both parents?

Obviously, the age of the child will have a lot to do with the words you choose and the details you offer when explaining your decision to divorce. For some guidance, read “An Age-by-Age Guide to Talking to Kids About Divorce.”

Couple sitting back-to-back with wall separating them as they deal with post-divorce conflictsYou divorced your ex to escape an unhealthy relationship but divorce itself is not a magical remedy for the issues that plagued your marriage. Chances are whatever behaviors led you and your partner to separate will still exist after the divorce. The trick is to not let these issues continue to impact your life.

Learning how to manage conflicts with your ex post-divorce is the first step to a fresh start on your new life. For some guidance on how to do this read, “6 Tips to Help Deal with Post-Divorce Conflict with Your Ex.”

Young child with paper doll cutout of parents and child depicting parallel parenting arrangement after divorceIt’s no secret that children do best when both parents are involved in their lives. This holds true for children of divorce, too, and it’s the reason many divorced parents choose to co-parent as part of their custody arrangement.

Co-parenting allows parents to continue working together to raise their children even after their marriage ends. But it requires cooperation and the ability to put up a united front in matters pertaining to the children. This isn’t something all parents can do, especially if they have a tumultuous relationship and have just gone through a contentious divorce. When co-parenting continues to expose children to tension between their parents, it could have a harmful rather than healing effect.

So, what are parents to do when they want to remain active in their children’s lives but simply cannot work with their ex? Consider the alternatives, one of which is parallel parenting. To learn more about this parenting arrangement, read “What Is Parallel Parenting?

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