Articles Posted in Divorce

naem-change-400-04417572dChanging your name in New Jersey requires court approval following a process designed to ensure the name change isn’t being requested for unlawful or deceptive purposes. The exception to this is a name change due to marriage and/or divorce.

Adopting your spouse’s name after marriage or resuming your maiden name after divorce can be effected socially simply by using your new name. Officially, however, there are certain agencies, such as the Social Security Administration and the Motor Vehicle Commission, you must notify in order to change your name. Your certified marriage license serves as proof of your right to use your spouse’s name if you so choose. In relation to divorce, your desire to resume use of your maiden name should be stated in the divorce decree. This document can then be used when applying to the appropriate agencies for your name change.

Planning a wedding or negotiating a divorce are complex, emotional events, so it would be easy to overlook an agency or institution you should notify about your pending name change. This name change checklist can help.

co-parenting-400-06522675dIn a co-parenting custody arrangement, parents work together to maintain equal roles in raising their children. Proponents of this arrangement believe it provides a healthy environment particularly for the children by minimizing the disruption to their lives. There are other benefits, too. For one thing, children are exposed to positive interactions between their parents rather than negative ones. This type of arrangement may also put less of a strain on relationships with extended family members if no one feels pressured to “take sides.”

Co-parenting requires a level of cooperation not all couples can achieve, so it may not be the solution for everyone. However, because of its potential benefits, it is worth considering provided the circumstances of your divorce permit. To learn more about how co-parenting arrangements can work, check out “Mayim Bialik gets real about co-parenting: ‘Divorce isn’t the end of family’.” The actress, currently appearing in the television hit, The Big Bang Theory, explains how she and her ex-husband have made co-parenting work for their family.

divorce-mistakes-400-04023471dDivorce, no matter how inevitable it might be, is an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved. Sadness, hurt, anger, relief, fear, anxiety are all feelings spouses and children alike may experience throughout the divorce process. And these feelings can get the better of you if you let them.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in your divorce is reacting to these feelings and not giving enough consideration to the big picture. Do you really want possession of that antique lamp enough to fight over or are you just seeking revenge? Identifying the important issues and letting go of the small stuff can help you and your loved ones survive the divorce with your emotions – and sanity – intact. For a look at some of the more common mistakes to avoid when going through a divorce, read “11 Things Divorce Lawyers Say You Should Never Do.”

Photo of child holding cutouts of family separated by divorceDivorcing couples may severe ties with each other but not with their children — once a parent, always a parent. Children depend on mothers and fathers to fill certain roles in their lives and they see their parents’ relationships with each other as a partnership. When children watch that partnership dissolve through divorce, the impact on their emotional and psychological well-being can be great.

How parents decide to approach their divorce can help lessen the negative affect the divorce can have on their children. Whether the divorce is cooperative or contentious can influence the type of parenting plan the couple can hope to have. To learn more, read Dr. Jamie Williamson’s blog, “Marriages Dissolve, But Parenting Partnerships Are ‘to Death Do Us Part’…

financial-mistakes-400-08377485dWhen negotiating a divorce settlement, it isn’t uncommon for people to fight for everything they believe they are entitled to – property, financial assets, support payments. Too often, however, people let their emotions cloud their judgement; they fail to consider the ramifications of their settlement and overlook issues that could negatively impact their future financial well-being.

It might be nice to keep the family home after your divorce, but can you afford the mortgage payments, the tax bill, the upkeep? What about those joint loans or credit lines you and your spouse have? Unless you have assurance that your ex will live up to his or her obligations after the divorce, you could find creditors coming after you for the full payment of those obligations.

Some financial issues that require attention during the course of your divorce negotiations are obvious; others can easily be overlooked. Read “Financial Mistakes to Avoid when Getting Divorced” to identify common issues that should be addressed before your divorce is final in order to avoid financial consequences later.

coping-400-06888385dFor some people, divorce is the only solution to the problems in their relationship. Still, it is difficult for everyone involved as they adjust to changes in family finances and lifestyles. Children can be most affected since they very often don’t understand the circumstances that led to this change in their family life.

Children react differently to their parents’ divorce – some act out behaviorally at home or in school; others keep their feelings pent up, only for these feelings to surface at a later time in their development. Most parents go to great lengths to protect their children from being traumatized by their divorce. One of the best things they can do is consider their children’s needs first, according to Dr. Kyle Pruett, a clinical professor of child psychiatry. To learn more about how you can help your child adjust to your divorce, read Dr. Pruett’s article, “Helping Children Cope With Divorce.”

 

custody-400-04369363dWhen facing divorce, many parents will go to great lengths to arrive at custody agreements that protect the daily routines of their children as much as possible. Allowing children to remain with the friends and schools they’ve become accustomed to can prove helpful as they adjust to their parents’ divorce. Unfortunately, this isn’t always possible.

Sometimes parents are faced with unexpected circumstances – a change in finances or employment, for example – that jeopardize their ability to live up to the terms of even the most well-planned custody agreements. Ignoring the terms spelled out in your custody agreement can have costly consequences, a lesson one New Jersey couple is learning the hard way. For details, read “Parents ordered to pay N.J. school district $55K tuition in residency dispute.”

One way to avoid a similar situation is to return to court to seek a new or amended custody agreement and keep the terms of the new agreement in mind when making modifications in your life to meet your changing circumstances.

Stressors leading to divorce - photo of groom placing ring on bride's handMarriage is a lifetime commitment. While most people take that commitment seriously, sometimes things occur leading a couple to the realization they can no longer honor their vows to stay together “till death do us part.” The exact reasons behind any divorce are as unique as the individuals involved, yet there are certain common life events that can add to a couple’s stress and perhaps even influence their decision to part ways.

A recent article on abcnews.go.com explored various life changes and stressors that could negatively affect a marriage according to Elizabeth Ochoa, PhD., Beth Israel Medical Center’s chief psychologist and marriage counselor. Read Amanda MacMillan’s article, “Life Events That Can Lead to Divorce,” to learn more.

Joint Custody -- photo of pen and corner of eyeglasses lying on a Child Custody agreementDivorce may be the answer to a troubled marriage but when children are involved, the relationship between spouses never truly ends. Although divorce negotiations can sometimes be bitter, custody arrangements require cooperation if they are to work.

There are various forms of custody designed to suit the unique circumstances of individual families. However, most people believe that joint custody, if possible, is best for the children. For this, couples need to put aside their differences and focus on the needs of their children. To learn how to do that, read “9 Rules to Make Joint Child Custody Work.”

divorce-and-taxes400-04880363dApril 15, the tax filing deadline, is quickly approaching. You’re newly divorced – or in the process of becoming so – and ready to file your individual tax return. Not so fast. There are a few things to remember about divorce and your tax filing status.

For tax filing purposes, if your divorce was not finalized prior to year-end, you are still considered married for the year in the eyes of the Internal Revenue Service, even if you and your spouse were living separately. As a result, your filing status for the year is married; you have the possibility of three options for filing your 2015 income taxes: married filing jointly, married filing separately or, possibly, filing as head of household. Read “What to know when filing taxes and getting divorced” for more information.

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